"Go away helicopter - before I take out my giant swatter."
Sohaib Athar, livetweeted the Osama bin Laden raid unknowing its worldwide implication and when he did he tweed, "Uh oh, now I'm the guy who liveblogged the Osama raid without knowing it"
<more good medicine>
source: Waikato Times
source: thestar.com.my
The importance of family reunion over the Chinese New Year once again brought to world's attention when a frustrated migrant worker staged a protest at a local railway station over the soldout train trips. The movement of migrants over this festive season posed the world's biggest traffic challenge even with the vastly expanded transportation infrastructure in China. Last year Premier Wen had to apologise for stranded travellers at one congested station. <more>read also: Single businesswoman face home return stress
Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer.
They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough.
I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.'
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They faxed.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded..
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards..
They created charts and graphs..
They did some genealogy reports .
They did every job known to man.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off..
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed..
Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers.
Satan started searching frantically, screaming:
'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!'
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.
Satan observed this and became irate. 'Wait!' he screamed.
'That's not fair! He cheated!
How come he has all his work and I don't have any?'
JESUS SAVES....
.
NST Online August 11, 2010
The Star Newspaper July 23, 2010
a timely reminder inside a smoko-room
A couple in Dianella was robbed at home by a man armed with a knife, a garden fork and a hammer. The robber told them that he had a pregnant wife and needed money. Before he fled in the couple's car he said a prayer and pleaded for forgiveness and almost in tears.
(The West Australian Jan 21, 2010)
Kid: Why is the bride dressed in white?
Mum: It is her happiest day, her dress express it so well.
Kid: Why is the bridegroom dressed in black?
Mum: Uh . . . Ask your Dad.
BEWARE OF SNATCH THIEF signs have been put up in an affluent neighbourhood of Malaysian cities -- ST PHOTO
How Much for A Haircut? A$30K. Not much if you happened to be the Sultan of Brunei.
The Sultan of Brunei, who is among the world’s richest men with an estimated wealth of RM69.5bil, was so concerned about his looks that he would get hairstylists from London to do his hair every three to four weeks. Recently, he flew barber Ken Modesrou from London to give him a haircut. The huge amount covered the fare to fly Modesrou to Brunei in a self-contained suite on a Singapore Airlines flight, three to four nights’ accommodation at a luxury hotel, food and tips. He only charged RM174 for a hairdo in London.
source: SinChew
Don't You Call Me Ugly!
Jail for Calling Wife Ugly may soon be legislated in Malaysia. The government's Women Department is preparing for the legislation to extend protection of women from physical to include emotional attacks on women. Offenders include a husband who 'tells his wife she is ugly or humiliates her until she feels emotionally pressured,' the government department's head, Noorul Ainur Mohamad Nur. (source NST May 29, 2009)
Exactly one year after the historic NO vote relegating any other daylight saving move to the history books the tiny but vocal Save the Sharks group had a stunning victory in the Supreme Court of Western Australia today in a split 4:3 decision in favour of daylight saving. The renowned eastern seaboard QC Mr Septimus Shark representing Save the Sharks said this was a remarkable justification of the Western Australian Rights Charter introduced early this year that has helped to protect the rights of so many minority groups in society and declared it a great win for justice.
The court dismissed the views expressed in the 2009 referendum as being “majoritarian intolerance”. Mr Shark said it was well known that most shark attacks occurred in the morning and that the group was fearful that sharks would be hunted and killed after such attacks. Mr Shark also said that there was no chance of the decision being overturned by government or the people as the decision was in line with international rights and was here to stay.
From an Unknown Source
Jail for Calling Wife Ugly may soon be legislated in Malaysia. The government's Women Department is preparing for the legislation to extend protection of women from physical to include emotional attacks on women. Offenders include a husband who 'tells his wife she is ugly or humiliates her until she feels emotionally pressured,' the government department's head, Noorul Ainur Mohamad Nur. (source NST May 29, 2009)